Pimp My Ride

Even though I am a West Coast girl at heart, I have this compulsion for New England-y paraphenalia: Nantucket decals, Black Dog t-shirts, Boat-n-Tote bags and Shaker furniture.

When I lived on the East Coast, I got a kit to make a Shaker ladder back rocking chair replete with taped webbing seat. I lovingly put the rocking chair together while imagining that I might one day rock my children in that chair.

So nostalgic was I for this image of rocking a baby to sleep in the rocker on a hardwood floor that I hauled the chair from the Atlantic to the Pacific when I moved West for business school.

Right after grad school, I went through a phase where I wasn't sure kids fit into my life. I tried to loan the chair to some friends who were starting families but got no takers. In retrospect, that should've been my first clue. So I hauled said chair again to another home. I swear, I moved that chair at least 10 times.

Once we settled, the poor chair sat lonely in The Room while we waited to start a family. It sat lonelier still as we failed to sustain a pregnancy.

When it finally became clear that Missy was coming, the chair figured prominently in the nursery design plan. Other friends had their gliders and cushy rockers. I considered getting a new ride briefly but when you get ready for a kid you feel like you are hemorrhaging money. So I worked the nursery around the beloved old rocker.

However.

It was only after that I spent several very uncomfortable nights nursing and rocking and rocking some more that I learned that the Shakers are FREAKIN' CELIBATE! Which is why there are like only four real Shaker people left in the U.S. And which is also why their rocking chairs suck. They were never designed to withstand long, lonely nights with an infant in arms.

So after one loooong night when Missy fought sleep after each feed, I announced to Cowboy that we needed to pimp my ride. And I went out and - money be damned - bought one of these cozy, comfy behemoths from PBK.

My ass has never been so thankful.

Missy's not convinced. She still takes much cajoling to drift off to sleep. But at least we're comfortable while we debate the issue.

For those of you who are planning The Room, my assvice to you: do not skimp on a chair. Buy the best, most comfortable one you can afford. You have no idea how many hours you will spend in the thing.

As for the dear Shaker rocker...I'll be posting it on Craigs List as soon as I rid it of any evidence of breast milk and spit up.