Friday, November 2, 2007

Freakin' Fertiles (volume 1)

Since I promised I would not be ingrateful and complain about pregnancy stuff on this blog, I have another thing to complain about: fertiles.

I’m gonna be mean. Because I’m cranky. So if you are looking for some nice, sweet post - you ain’t gonna find it here.

Freakin’ Fertile story #1: Early in October, before I knew I was pregnant, I was perusing Craig’s List because I was posting a few big ticket items I didn’t sell during my tag sale. Just for kicks, I typed in the name of a baby high chair I've always imagined we’d have. You know, just to see if anyone was selling one used and for what price. Mere curiosity. Well, apparently some fertile was into this brand, too, because she had posted a "wanted" listing for a crib. Only she didn’t need the item until she was due. In May! This was early October. She was due in mid May. You do the math. Uh-huh. I mean, I hope it works out for her and all, but how’s that for getting carried away with your preggers self?

Freakin’ Fertile story #2: I am helping with invitations for a baby shower for a friend. The shower is a "white of winter" themed fete and guests are asked to bring a white-themed gift. The mother-to-be – who requested the white theme – asked me to include a line on the invitations requesting that guests not bring disposable diapers as a gift. (I guess chances are pretty high that someone would bring the proverbial cake o’ diapers to a white-themed baby shower.) Instead, I am asked to include something to the effect that the new parents are – and I quote – "saving the environment by using gdiapers." As fucking if. A little self righteous, eh? If you really want to save the environment use cloth.

Okay, enough from little Miss Cranky Pants for today. If you have a fun Freakin’ Fertile story, please do share.

14 comments:

Waiting Amy said...

Okay I'm in the dark ... what are gdiapers? As I read it I thought you were going to say they were doing cloth. Although I've heard somethings that say its a bit of a "wash" which are better. With the cloth you've got the soaps and bleach and all that hot water, with the disposables, the landfill.

No great freakin' fertile story from me. Just another insensitive announcement. She was even advised by a fellow friend to email me first. But hey, that would require some compassion on her part, right?

Lori said...

It gets me when a Fertyl Mertyl says, "We want to have a baby in the Spring, so we're going to conceive in the Summer."

As if. There were that much predictability.

Erin said...

That is seriously annoying, especially the baby shower one. Kinda bossy for someone who's getting a big party thrown in their honor with loads of gifts. Stupid asses!

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

i agree...those stories are all annoying.
my recent favs and, i hate to say it ia what i get from ALL fertiles in my life when we tell them that we are adopting is some random statement that completely ignores the sadness of not having bio children.
i mean, our adoption will be a blessing, but the truth is my baby will not look like my husband, parents, etc. and to dismiss that bugs me.(especially when they got PG the first month and are now on child three).
thanks for letting me vent.

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

oh! and annoy me about *some* environmentalists is that they don't see that it is a privledge to be able to be concerned about the environment. believe me, the working class doesn't have the time or $$ for cloth diapers.
the so called 'greenest house' is Atlanta is 6,000 sq feet, with a pool. blech.

Rebecca said...

My friend's friend has dragged my friend along to buy maternity bras today.

She's 11 weeks.

I have no words.

Anns said...

Hmm... gdiapers? Just googled 'em, never heard of them either. Interesting concept, wonder if they dissolve?

Anyways... yes, freakin' fertiles are annoying. Lucikly (?) for me most of the currently pregnant ladies in my real life have all had difficulty getting there and are much more appreciative (and cautious) than most.

Kim said...

Ha. I got this one yesterday, 'I told my husband that once we moved into the new house, we'd try for a second baby. I'm not pregnant yet, but I will be, just give me a few months'. Must be nice.

Carrie said...

A colleague of mine, a teacher, has four boys all with birthdays in February. She once said to me, 'if you're going to have children make sure you fall pregnant in June. It works out best for the maternity leave.'

Fantastic. I'll bear that in mind. It's another world.

SaraS-P said...

Oh, sometimes I love fertile-bashing. Yeah, I used to say stupid likes back when I wasn't yet in the know, but it is still therapeutic to make fun of them.

niobe said...

There are all these people who live in a parallel universe. It's a little hard for me to be all that annoyed at them, because, in their world, things are, well, different.

Mrs. B said...

Something I heard recently was a fertile saying, "I swear it just took FOREVER to get pregnant. I mean we started trying in July for heaven's sake".!!!!

They started in July and she is 2 months PG. You do the math! I just wanted to pinch her in the face... but that's just me, bitter, old me!

Ms. Infertile said...

I've got a good one for you: My co-worker announces her pregnancy at a staff meeting, ONE DAY after doing an hpt! She was 4w1d pregnant!!
This is after I had had a miscarriage at 13 weeks that they were all aware of. I wish I could be that confident. Ugh.

Wordgirl said...

My favorite topic of course, is X. -- for those of you who may not read my blog it's my partner's x...who is pregnant (naturally) by a man with less than a million s.c. -- I only know this because she's the chattiest person on the planet and I see her often when we do 'family' things the revolve around the son she and G. share. She told us on Memorial Day that she was pregnant -- which sent me into a MAJOR tailspin -- basically railing my fists at the heavens, ululations, fetal position rocking, screaming (and I am not one to usually even raise my voice) -- and she is due at the end of January -- which means she was just barely, barely pregnant when she brought us the joyous news.