Monday, November 12, 2007

Fun with Cucumbers

I am not going to complain about being nauseous. Instead, I'm trying to have fun with it. I mean, after a fucking month of daily sickness reminiscent of the feeling you get the day after a "beer-before-liquor-never-sicker" college party, you gotta do something to find a little humor in it. Or you start to pout. And no one likes a pouter after the cuteness wears off.

After years of carefully crafting our weekly household menu (including vegetarian night, which Cowboy hates), I find I can no longer plan anything because I have to indulge in whatever I feel like I might be able to keep down RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

If I don't, I turn ravenous, which quickly turns to nausea and the cycle starts all over again. Leaving me munching on graham crackers at the edge of the bathroom door.

Which means a lot of last minute trips to the grocery store where I buy something completely practical, like, say, 5 cucumbers.

I was feeling horrible on Sunday when the thought of cold cucumber slices popped into my head. Without hesitation, I drove to the store and could not think about anything other than buying cucumbers. I didn't really think about what I was doing, how this might look to the average New Seasons shopper until I was piling them into my grocery basket.

I suppose I could have saved face by buying some other grocery items but thinking about cucumbers was THE ONLY THING that kept me from feeling like I was going to hurl.

Grocery stores are hard enough with all the smells. I needed to get the damn cucumbers and get the hell out.

I also suppose I just could have bought my cucumber stash without looking up and slinking out of the store. But I was so darn sick of feeling sick that I decided I would control this party. It was not gonna control me.

So, just for fun, I shoved my wedding band into my jeans pocket while waiting in the check out line. And for more fun, I picked a guy checker. A cute one.

And to amuse my pathetic self further, I replied, "Oh I will," with arched eyebrows and a little grin when he bade me to have a good day.

At least I was the story du jour of the girl-who-bought-five-cucumbers-and-nothing-more rather than the girl who threw up in the produce department.

13 comments:

L said...

You are too funny! :-)

The thought of cucumbers is actually making me a little gaggy. However, I just wolfed down a quesadilla as it was the only thing that sounded palatable. I may regret that decision, but it sounded good at the time.

L said...

Sorry -- I still can't log in.

MissedConceptions

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

That is too funny!

Waiting Amy said...

You are a silly, silly girl!

Hope you have a few more moments nausea free soon. Oh, I love cold cucumbers too (at least in the summer).

L said...

Next time: 5 cucumbers + one bottle of KY Jelly. THEN you will be the talk of the store.

MissedConceptions (again)

Erin said...

That. Is awesome. Good for you! I'm glad you can have a little fun in the face of near pukage!

Lori said...

OK. Now I must add yours to the list of blogs NOT to read with a liquid in my mouth.

Hi-freaking-larious.

Kim said...

Oh no you didn't! That was great.

amy said...

That's hilarious....
Of course now I'm thinking that a cucumber sounds so good.
It is so funny what I crave and need sometimes.

Amy
dancingwithinfertility.blogspot.com

Meg said...

Thanks for coming by and congrats! Your blog seems so much more inspiring to me, strangely similar and hopefully how mine turns out. I am going to the library to get that book today, as well as The Complete Organic Pregnancy- have your read that?

On another note....I read through some of your blog and laughed throughout....mainly because:

1. I just had my husband throw out every Nalgene bottle this weekend.

2. I also call them tag sales and EVERYONE in Colorado thinks I am nuts! (I am originally from CT).

3. Each July I get a sparkle in my knowing it is almost time to buy a new August to August planner. Really I a a true planner, to-do lister. In fact I had a million to-do lists going about a day after my second m/c surgery. Although in my planner - my rule is to only use pencil. Pen is absolutely not allowed in my planner anymore...

JJ said...

Oh damn, that just made me spit out some pineapple---TOO FUNNY!

nancy said...

hehe. That's pretty funny.

Grapes. That was my magic morning sickness cure each time. Grapes.

Ms. Infertile said...

That is funny!!