Friday, February 19, 2010

Cougar

Have you ever asked a psychic about your reproductive future?

I haven’t and while I both have a hippie streak and live somewhat close to California, I am not sure I will fork over some hard-earned cash for a glimpse into my future.

But Cowboy did. Kind of.

A few months ago – before AF had even reappeared on the stage – Cowboy ponied up to the bar at the mountain and was lured into conversation with a (in his words) cougar. Who ended up telling him she was a psychic who earned close to 200 G’s telling people around Portland what was coming. She had just bought a ski house nearby with some of the proceeds.

Cowboy – as cowboys are wont to do – played his cards close. He says he alluded that he had a child but didn’t tell cougar-psychic-lady that Missy was a missy. Over the course of their conversation, cougar-psychic-lady gave him a bunch of freebies, including:

1. Your daughter (right) is a fire cracker (right, again).

2. Between ages 16 – 17, she will be hell on wheels. (great. Then again, what girl between the ages of 16 and 17 isn’t?)

3. Then she will right her ship and become very successful. (really?)

4. Between this December and April, you will conceive a boy. (you don’t say?)

5. He will be the opposite of his sister: mellow (thank God).

6. By the way, is there someone close in your life named, Mark? (WTF! Cowboy’s dad with whom he is very close is named Mark).

Maybe I should be obsessing about the kind of trouble my daughter might get into commencing with her Sweet 16, but really the whole son-conceiving-between-December-and-April thing is what sticks in my head. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t pop into my head at some point every damn day.

Why!? Why am I willing to hang on to a thread of bullshit free advice given to my husband by a cougar-psychic-lady at a bar (when, by the way, he should have been out skiing)?????

Is this really how low I’ve sunk of the reproductive confidence scale?

What do you think? Should one ever believe free psychic advice? Have you ever seen a psychic and were his or her prophecies true?


Or am I just fucking nutty cakes?

3 comments:

B. said...

On a lark, two friends and I all celebrated our collective birthdays (we were all within a few days of each other) with a visit to a psychic and a girls' night out. There were several things the psychic told us that DID come true. She also told us several things about our collective history together, which we did not even allude to, which were true as well.

Now, how much of what came true came about because we'd listened to her predictions, as opposed to what would have happened in our lives anyhow... we'll never know. But wouldn't it be really cool if the cougar was right?

Life in Eden said...

'kay, I've never told this before but ... back in early high school a friend and I did the ouija board. It told me I'd marry a dark haired, blue eyed man (check!) and that I would have 5 children (no). However, I do have had 5 confirmed pregnancies. Hmm.

I'm hoping that cougar is on the mark.

Mrs. B said...

I think that whatever gives you comnfort or hope can't hurt. If it turns out to be right, well that's wonderful and if not, who cares? it was fun to wonder for a while right?