Here's Where the Story Ends

Yesterday, the very reason this blog was conceived told me that she - and I quote - "needed her privacy" (ahem) - while using the bathroom.

Her younger sister - the "baby" is pulling herself up to stand at nine months and crawled at seven.

Life with two young children, a thriving business, a solid marriage, frequent jaunts into the mountains and a sputtering-but-still-alive yoga practice has a decidedly chaotic hum to it. A much different hum from when I started writing here after suffering miscarriages and wanting so desperately to start a family.

I've meant to start another blog but haven't found the time and inclination. I still may concoct something and, if so, will post the link here in case any one of my former blog friends stumbles upon it and cares to see what we're up to.

Until then, it is time to close this chapter.

In closing I want to let all those who I connected with on this journey - in this medium - how much that connection meant to me. How grateful I was and am to have it in my life. I think about many of you on a daily basis.

I once counseled a friend who was trying to conceive that she had to believe she would be a mother one day. How everyone I knew - and there were many of you! - who was struggled is now a mother.

But how hard that was for me to do. I believed the worst would come from my failure to hold on to a pregnancy. And now only the best has come - well, mostly the best. (I will try to remind myself of that the next time both girls are going off simultaneously.)

Those were some hard lessons learned. But I truly believe that those very lessons of belief, trust and patience - mostly the patience! - are helping me in my journey to become the mother I want to be for my two lively girls.

Speaking of, to close is the photo of Missy (Piper) at 3 and Sissy (Sammie) at 8 months on Independence Day 2011.

Many happy days to each of you. All my love and support to you on your momma-hood journey.

xoxo,

Ms. Planner

I promise. It is coming.

The new blog, that is.

I've been designing it over and over in my mind. I hope to find more inspiration from some upcoming trips to the mountain. Yay!

Sammi is 4 months and ready for mountain daycare. Piper has taken the big chair lift up several times already this season with Cowboy. Momma is ready and chomping at the bit to get up on snow.

An aside, when not planning my new blog in my head, I am planning how I will manage getting two wee ones up and out to mountain daycare by myself since daddy has to boot up for ski patrol at 7 AM sharp. Goes something like, "Nurse Sammi in camper at 8:00 AM. Haul both girls and their stuff to mountain daycare from camper. Give self 30 minutes. Could take an hour. Drop off at daycare. Return to camper. Get my gear. Ski until 11. Nurse Sammi. Get Piper. Take a couple of runs with Piper. Get requisite hot cocoa. Pick up Sammi at 1. Wait! How do I get a baby in the Ergo, a three year old, their gear, my skis and Piper's skis back to the camper? Frick!"

I haven't had the balls to calculate how much we will pay in daycare fees so that I can ski for about an hour-and-a-half. I think it comes down to a dollar a minute.

An investment in the future, I guess.

In the meantime, here is a blurry photo of Sammi at 4 months. Snot dripping from nose (oh, the poor second child - no time for carefully crafted photos) included.

Milk does not do this body good

What is that old saying?

Something about making a plan and giving the Universe or God or whomever a laugh.

So after smuggly congratulating myself that I put up tons of food for the birth of my second child, it appears that said second child has a dairy intolerance. Not an allergy (yet) but she vomits copiously and has troubling digesting, and therefore expelling out the proper end.

Of course, nearly everything last thing I put up has cheese or milk in it.

But it is so heartbreaking to watch her struggle after I eat a serving of chicken linguine casserole - and I am committed to breast feeding her until two - so I am off the cow for now.

If anyone has suggestions for vegan cookbooks or resources or ways to replace items like butter with something else, I am all ears and eyes.

Cowboy is going to have fun eating all those lasagnas and chicken pot pies himself!

The only upside is how quickly the baby weight is coming off.