I was nominated by fellow Northwesterner Coffeegrl for the I AM writing assignment about a gazillion years ago. I actually got emotional writing this because I often don’t know who I am anymore. Or maybe it was the Clomid making me a wee bit weepy?
Bottom line is that I don’t feel like myself at all these days and I’m not comfortable with it. But writing this made me think & think. I started to remember the woman who a year ago laughed easily and saw the world filled with so much opportunity and promise. Some days I feel like my world has shrunk to a dark little box. This writing exercise made me remember the person who never put her life on hold for something or was scared to make a move. It made me want that person back.
And, so, here I am:
I am a planner and organizer.
I am both intuitive and analytical.
I am competitive, driven and tough on myself. Sadly, I admit, I am – at times – tough on others, too.
I am a devout yoga practitioner.
I am soothed by being in the mountains.
I am someone who believes that new and full moons really do affect our bodies & behavior.
I am a recycler and take immense satisfaction in the fact that our recycle bins are fuller than our trash bin on garbage day.
I am anal about folding the laundry.
I am rather old fashioned about manners and will insist my children call their elders Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So rather than by first name.
I am the daughter of high school sweethearts who have been married for nearly 40 years.
I am a sister, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law and aunt.
I am Mommy to the sweetest, most sensitive golden retriever on the planet.
I am raised Southern,
I am East Coast experienced, but
I am a West Coast girl at heart.
I am just as happy sleeping in a zero-degree sleeping bag in the back of a pickup truck as I am sleeping under a down comforter in a fancy hotel.
I am a traveler who likes to visit rugged parts of the world.
I am a writer, but only as a hobby.
I am a girl who just wants be happy and full of promise again.
I am a friend who remembers to send birthday cards.
I am a supporter of parks, libraries, food banks and animals.
I am a woman who has questioned at times whether she might want children in her life.
I am a woman who has decided that, yes, she really desires children in her life.
I am a woman who has had two miscarriages, which I am still very sad about.
I am a wife who tries to make her wedding vows mean what they say. Every single day.
I am a true Taurus with all the good and bad that goes with the sign.
I am trying to find some peace and patience on this path: succeeding on some days, failing on others.
There's a couple people who (maybe) haven't done this ever or in awhile, so I nominate:
Von at Murphy is a Bastard (who is in need of some serious support right now)
Watson at My Dear Watson
The Oneliner, but only after her curtain call.
Alice at Into the Rabbit Hole
I am really looking forward to reading these from you ladies.
* * *
Quick RE update:
Both Clomid Challenge Test Day 1 results in the good range:
FSH = 9.8
Estradiol = 39
* I started Clomid on Tuesday. Taking through Saturday.
* Friday is my HSG (I am getting nervous but have scheduled acupuncture prior to the appointment for a little relaxation).
* Sunday is Clomid Challenge Day 10.