Tuesday, March 2, 2010

But of course...

So the story goes: Last Sunday it was a gorgeous spring day skiing. Missy was in "ski school" and for the past two weekends has not even cried when I dropped her off. She's like, "See ya, Momma. Gotta go play at the snow table." (Well, she doesn't talk in sentences yet. But if she did, the look on her face indicates that this is what she would most likely say.)

Cowboy and I are taking a break in the deck chairs, facing the late winter sunshine. I think I'm cool with this one kid thing, I thought. My child is in day care. Date day with my husband.

Which means of course that on Monday I get a BFP.

Beta for 12 (?) dpo is 327. Which seems kind of high.

Well, it might be 12 dpo. I wasn't even using CBEFM this month because I ran out of pee sticks and somehow couldn't muster the time or energy to go to the pharmacy across town that carries them.

Progesterone is 37 without prometrium. Bagged that the back half of this cycle, too.

Trying not to be freaked out.
Trying to play it cool.
Trying not to get any hopes up, despite my post from yesterday.

No one knows except for my OB and the few of you still reading this blog. I haven't even told Cowboy yet.


megan said...

holy crap! yea!!(?)
i'm sure you're feeling quite freaked out right about now.
for what it's worth..i'm 14 weeks + and still am not sure how we're going to manage with more than one!
thinking of you!

Caro said...

Wow! Freak out is totally understandable. Congrats

Meg said...

But of course.....eek! I will follow closely!

B. said...

Yes, you still have an audience. Al I can think to say right now is, "Wow!" Best of luck with coolness and controlling hopes, but I'll be hoping like mad for you because honestly, you might be cool with one kid, but two would be sweet.

Erin said...

Dude - awesome!!! When are you going to tell Cowboy?

LJ said...

Congratulations!! But I hear you on the freak out for sure!

Life in Eden said...

Wowie wow! and we heard before Cowboy! Woo hoo!

Seriously, it is totally scary and exciting and enough to make you want to crawl out of your skin. Take lots of deep breaths, remember there is lots to come, and try to be patient. It is the hardest thing EVER.

(thanks for your note at the old place. I really thought I was done writing there, but my family reads my new home, and I just wanted a place to vent to those who understood. no worries sweetie, I got the support I needed at that moment and now am movin' forward. xoxo)

stickybun07 said...

Woah! I had just read your last post on the fly and was coming back to leave a comment...when hat, to my wondering eyes did appear?!

I have everything crossed tightly and am hoping for the best for you.

Will be following closely as always!

L said...

That will teach you to try and plan, eh?

My betas were high, too, and I was thinking "twins." Just one baby, though, pumping out lots of hormones.


Fiddle1 said...

wowsers! that is a very high beta and progesterone! i was told progesterone measures the strength of ovulation, and honey, your ovaries are strong! Guess your decision was made for you! What is that saying? Life is what happens while you are making plans?

I know it must freak you out, but I think in a few weeks, you'll be thrilled. Seriously..it'll just take a while for your head to catch up to your heart.

That said, don't you let yourself feel one shred of guilt for not feeling whatever it is you think you should feel. We are here with you and support you.
Whatever you feel in whatever moment is totally normal. And when it changes, that is normal too!!


niobe said...

Wow. That title says it all.

Anonymous said...

Yea for you!!!! I am so thrilled for you right now.

I will *cautiously* be super excited for you and hope and pray everything goes smoothly!